Teaching: Who do you think you are? Are you identified with your body, your mind, or yourself? How does the I fit with the body and mind? We need to find out by probing experientially, not by thinking really hard. The image of a conglomeration of merchants with a CEO in charge. That CEO is the I. While that sense of there being a CEO or I is real, the referent, upon probing, is nowhere to be found and thus unreal. This sense of CEO or I is that which feels it is the agent or the observer in meditation or reacts to praise or criticism in everyday life.
Meditation: mindfulness of the mind via awareness of awareness. Let your eyes be open, and rest gaze evenly. For a while, just be present, without doing focusing on any object. Let your interest converge on what’s left over, that most intimate knowing. Simply rest in the flow of awareness of awareness. For the oscillation, 1) inversion –withdraw from all appearances into the luminosity of awareness itself and 2) release –release into space of non-objectivity. Ensure that the breath flows effortlessly—i.e., not arousing and releasing the breath. Now, invert deeply on 1) your sense of being the agent of this meditation, 2) who is this meditator, and 3) who is the observer. If an appearance comes to mind, is it really I or is it empty like a mirage? Release the oscillation, and let awareness come to the center, resting in its own place, knowing itself.
Q1. In settling the mind, there is a fuzzy TV channel running 3m before me. Rumination has reduced to 4 topics and seem to be arising from the I rather than the TV. Are there different levels?
Q2. In awareness of awareness, I’m not clear about what releasing means? And oscillation?
Q3. In awareness of awareness, I get it when I’m practicing with you in the group sessions, but back in my room, there’s no traction.
Q4. In awareness of awareness, is the oscillation experientially similar to tonglen?
Q5. Javana are mental events that arise from and dissolve back into substrate consciousness whereas mental appearances like thoughts and images dissolve into the substrate. Are mental appearances different from javana? Aren’t javana also appearances to the mind?
Q6. In awareness of awareness, I get the same experience during the oscillation, but when we release the oscillation, it feels different, like coming home. Why do exercises like the oscillation or sending awareness in different directions?
Meditation starts at 16:38
* Note part of the recording was taken from video camera due to system issues …